1. Drawn Out
2. Drawing An Audience
3. The Main Draw
Lordy Lordy I’m tired. Not helped by Son 2 aged 2y 11m, who again had one of his daft o’clock wakings. “MUMMMEEEE!!! I NEED YOU.” Ignored many times. Repeated. Till: “Son 2 please stop shouting. It’s the middle of the night. Come up here if you want me.” “I WAN’ YOU COME AND GE’ ME.” “I’m not getting out of bed.” Pitiful sobbing. “I SCARED! I SCARED!” Hard luck. I knackered. He trailed up, grizzling, in the end. Tried getting in one side of the Big Bed. Found Son 1 aged 5y 11m. Stomped off round to the other side.
“Is Daddy coming back?” asked Son 2 this morning. So I made sure I told The Man when he rang. “When are you coming back?” “Thursday, I hope.” Smile And Wave. I had a Trade Show for The Office today. I made a massive picnic. “What do you want in your sandwiches?” I asked Son 1. “Ham and cucumber,” he said. “Don’t let Granny make them.” Granny made the sandwiches yesterday. “What do they have?” she’d asked. a”Ham and cucumber,” I said. Granny made half the sandwiches with ham and the other half with cucumber. The boys played outside in the front garden while I buttered bread. A car had parked across Our Neighbour With The Off-Street Parking’s drive. The police came. Then a low loader craned the car up and took it away. The boys loved it. So did Granddad.
The Trade Show is an hour’s drive away. Granny and Granddad took Son 1 and Son 2 and they rattled around stands and attractions while I worked. It’s an Outdoor Show, and in blazing sunshine it was much hotter than I’d thought, and much, much busier. The Office did a roaring trade, and I didn’t stop all day. The boys wandered back and forth a few times, hot and bothered in their white linen shirts. There was a charities section, and Son 1 had found a tombola. Son 1 loves tombolas. Gambolling He won a big stuffed red dragon. Son 2 didn’t win anything, and was in floods of tears. I took them back. There was a Lucky Dip. Son 2 was consoled with some bubble mixture and Haribo sweets. Off they went again. I joined them for a break. Son 2 still wanted to win something on a tombola. They found another stall. Son 1 instantly won a rather nice boys’ pencil set. We all tensed as Son 2 unravelled his tickets. He had a pink flowery pencil set. “I’m sorry, it’s a girl’s one,” said the stall lady. “He won’t mind,” I said. He didn’t. He also won a make-your-own-tank set. We sat on a bench eating our sandwiches. Son 1 and Son 2 sat on the floor, sharpening their new pencils with their new pencil sharpeners. I went back to the stand. At the end of the afternoon, they all came back. Son 2 was beside himself. He’d won a cuddly football monkey on yet another tombola. Son 1 was huffy and sulky. He’d only won an animal stamping set. He wanted another go. I wouldn’t let him. He had a weapons-grade tantrum in front of my colleagues and customers. They were all very sympathetic. Back home, Granny and Granddad went straight off and I put the boys to bed. I did five books, and let them talk me into another two. I was dropping with fatigue, Son 1 was trying to be especially nice and good. Son 2 was psychotic. He punched Son 1. I slammed Book 6 shut. “Right, that’s it. Bed! Now!” Just in case you were wondering where they get their talent for sudden, dramatic bouts of stroppiness.
[...] and the Cheshire Cat running a tombola. Son 1 had three goes and won a Lemur cuddly toy. The Luck Of The Draw Son 2 had a go on a lolly lucky dip. He didn’t care about winning. Still on his sweet ban, he [...]